Once upon a time, not too long ago, there were mainly two accepted gender types across mainstream society; they equally had two sets of attire, ways of conducting themselves roles etc etc.  The gender definitions or pigeon holes were male and female, distinctly different in almost every way, lady and gentleman, miss and master etc etc.  These definitions and stereotypes prevailed for some time up until the two great wars, then things started to shift.

The illustration above represents how things were for the genders around 70 years ago.  I must point out that all of this post is only my understanding and perception, and not in any way backed by empirical data or research.  The diagram illustrates a number of things.

1. The colour gradient shows dark blue on the left, moving through purple and into pink – this describes the range of social gender stereotype traits from male through to female.  The range of traits can include, amongst many, how we act, what we wear, the jobs we do, the roles we have in society, the part we play as parents etc
2. The triangle area on both sides describes the Acceptable Latitude of Expression – the narrow part describes people who are ultra conservative and push little past the norm, the mid point is where the majority would sit pushing a little, but not much at all in the scheme of things, the upper part shows the liberals of the world who push the most.  The liberals and the conservatives are joined by virtue of the fact there are always less in number its the majority that rule.
3. The mid point of acceptability shows exactly that the perceived middle of what is social acceptable, what the diagram above does show it that the gender divide is massive with the mid point of acceptability being way on each side of the gender stereotype scale.

Then BOOM!  Along comes a range of stuff that changes everything,  World War 1 and World War 2 – and the massive shifts in gender roles and stereotypes, read “What happened to the man as the Peacock” for my understanding of what happened at this time.  Throw in to the mix around the same time Emmeline Pankhurst followed by the Women’s Liberation Movement in latter years, the advent of the birth control pill, cable and satellite TV, the internet, the Gay movement and a host of other things I’m sure, and we eventually end up where we are today.  Illustrated below – erm go girls!

This looks great from a female perspective but I’m sure most will agree it’s not without it’s problems, but that’s a post to be covered elsewhere.  In terms of the gender divide the shift is evident, the way women express themselves and cross over the traditional gender stereotypes back and forth, sometimes on a daily basis is profound.  The shift women have made in no more than 70 years is amazing – and well done the girls.  For me, women win hands down in terms of gender bending.  In fact I would say many people couldn’t even describe a stereotypical female role any more today.  Single mum, working and playing rugby?  Or single girl, doing tapestry and keeping toy dogs?  Wife, fire officer and part-time welder?

WOMEN DO EVERYTHING – women today are the number one experts in gender bending, cross-dressing, role switching etc.   With most women, they are like (dare I say) butterflies from one gender role to the other, autonomous and independent.  Congratulations once again!

However, look at the graph again and notice something that is, I believe is a massive problem and a sociological time bomb waiting to go off.  It’s a problem that me being a natal male and intergender I have been only too aware of and one that has caused me so much difficulty and anxiety over the years.  MEN HAVEN’T CHANGED REALLY!  In fact I would guess they have become more confused.  Slowly but surely, as women have moved back and forth with increasing frequency across the gender divide men have stayed in the box, shrunk and not only lost identity in society but become more entrenched in the old gender stereotype.  In part I believe it’s almost a self fulfilling prophecy as they whip each other back to the centre if anyone dare step outside the norm, with chants of ‘woofter’, ‘freak’, ‘woman’, ‘queer’ etc etc.  The fear of someone breaking the male gender ranks is massive – men are scared, no, terrified.  In fact I believe men are scared and too lazy to do something about it.  But I ask, who really is having all the fun?  Who really is making strides forward, who really has the upper hand?  Women.

I believe it’s time for men to activate, dig deep down and be stronger than they are, reach inside and become rounded, complete people, expressing masculinity and femininity.  Explore expression, become more emotionally intelligent, colourful, and naturally become the peacock again – cross over and create a male version of what women do.  It’s not about us all heading into a world of total gender homogenisation, but a place where both genders are equally rounded, equal opposites, yin and yang.  I believe the world would be a much better place to live in if it were more like the last diagram.  Where we all cross over, women reign in a little and men spread out more.

I hope that Two Spirit becomes a place where people of both sexes and whatever gender they are, can explore a little more and understand more too.  In time, I hope to offer suggestions to men about becoming more Two Spirit, crossing over a little more and how to become a little more rounded.  This is simply about saying it is ok to be more flamboyant, ok to be the peacock again as nature intends men to be.  It’s good to evolve, it’s good, no, it’s essential men evolve.

People have the choice to live life and express themselves the way they need to – Two Spirit is all about providing ideas to step out of the box if you so wish.  Women have proved it can be done – we can all be naturally greater than one if we embrace diversity and try a little harder.  Put three feathers in your cap and be proud to be a peacock or whatever you would like to call yourself.